Tag Archives: video

Friday Video Review

It’s Friday, and we’re all antsy to be done with the week. Well, my week doesn’t end, because I work on Saturdays and Sundays, but for the rest of you slackers, I’ve found some great videos for you to watch; better yet, I’ve even reviewed them, so you don’t have to. Let’s take a look at what youtube has to offer us today…

Think you’re sick of Gangnam Style? Think again. I guess this song is still fresh enough, and totally relevant to synchronizing it with Halloween lights. Who even really uses lights (excluding those little pumpkins, which are more adorable than they are scary) to decorate their house for Halloween? Anyway, watch the video; it is actually pretty cool, for about 20 seconds.

I can only imagine how tired of this song the people are who regretted allowing Edward’s Landing Lights to set up this display on their property. Or, maybe they’re super fans, who could never get tired of what they think is the song of the century. OR, maybe they’re Korean.

Our next video is not a video, but rather a screen shot of one of the suggested videos from the last video. Jesus, I need a thesaurus. When clicking through Youtube, I wait to be inspired, and compelled to write; then, I always watch the whole video twice before, as well as a few times during, my review. From the picture below, I hope you can see the many reasons why I refuse to watch “crazy 3 min chest workout” by sixpackshortcuts.
Looking beyond the terrible title grammar, and the fact that I don’t need a crazy three minute chest work out (because I’m already super jacked), I can’t get by the obvious: How does a three minute workout take nine minutes and forty-eight seconds? It pissed me off so much, that I refused to click on the advertisement. Besides, if I wanted to watch a shirtless, muscular guy getting off to himself, I’d head just lift my mattress, and pop in my favorite DVD: Shirtless, Muscular Guys Getting Off to Themselves. It’s a masturpiece.

I also try to get the most-recent (as of start of blog), but it’s hard to pass up on this one from 2007:

She knows what the world needs, but I think what the world needs is more people her: sexy, and intelligent. You can see Mario Lopez holding back his laughter, because she comes off as a ditz. The problem is that this girl is misunderstood; I believe that her mental capacity far exceeds any of ours. Therefore, she should really be holding back her own laughter. Maybe I’m just trying to be nice, because she’s hot, and that’s what I was taught; I don’t know.

Finally, I’ll leave you with something that I’d like you to join me in boycotting: people whom are not funny. First on the snub list is this Ben Behfar guy. Before I get into bashing the douche bag, I’ll let you watch the video with a virgin mind.

The main thing that bugs me about “Bodyshots” is that it tries too damn hard to be funny, and it’s not. The song is not funny. Throwing on ridiculous, brightly colored 80’s clothing is not funny. Making a video based on such a poor concept that it pisses me off is not funny. I will say that is shot/put together pretty all right, but for what? It makes me angry that they put in the time and effort for something that I have to take the time and effort to slam; in other words, they’re wasting my time, because I can’t let them go on thinking that they’re awesome. Ben Behfar is more full of himself than me; not only does he think this video is amazing enough to put online, but there are also supplemental videos about the making of this shitball, as well as a website devoted to Nima: this guy who knows he sucks, and plays off that idea.

Oh shit, that sounds familiar. Whatever, I do it better. I know I suck, which is why Dan Ray Sucks. So, if you spend your Friday free time watching videos online to the point where you find one that pisses you off to no ends, because some ass hole thinks it’s funny to present himself in a grandiose, yet silly manner (which has been done before, and better) to make millions of dollars off of Youtube, and you know that’s impossible, but it still bothers you, then you suck too.

Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, don’t make shitty videos.


Video Reviews That Suck

I have a great appreciation for youtube sensations, and finally decided to do something about it.  Today, with nothing to do at my internship, I’ve decided to bring to you a few of my favorite videos of the day.  I hope you enjoy them as much as they’re trending.

First off, we have “MacGyver – The MacGyver Song by Eric Bert.”  Other than the outrageous amount of self-promotion, I love this video.  At first, I was quite skeptical about watching it, because it seems like some douche bag is just trying to make a name for himself; like me, except he’s doing a great job at it.  After watching the video, I have more respect for both Eric Bert, and MacGyver.  Bert does a tremendous job in pointing out how awesomely 80’s/early 90’s the show was.  With the panty-dropping mullet of Richard Dean Anderson coupled with the complex storylines, explosions, and (of course) his shoestring ingenuity, it’s no wonder why the show lasted 139 episodes; nor, is it a wonder why there are talks of a reboot/movie!  Anyway, you’ve read enough.  It’s time to listen to some musical genius:

I don’t have much to say about this next video, except that I could have done it with one arm tied behind my back:

Okay, maybe I’m a little impressed, but it’s recreational league; so, nobody really gives a shit.

This final little gem…WOW.  I strongly disagree with the title; unless they really mean “worst” to be in the fashion of “nasty”, or “sick”.  In which case, I would totally agree that it’s quite bad.  I don’t know what this guy did, or why he did it (the character, not the director), but I do know that I was on the edge of my seat!  From the mere one minute and eight seconds of pure cinematic beauty, I can tell that this was a box office smash; I’m sure the people of Turkey were lining up out the door to see it…again!  With the realistic special effects, attention to detailed fight choreography, and just the right amount of slow motion (not too little, not way too much), I was captivated at first glance.  I watched it four times, in pure envy of its quality.  I can only hope that I will someday be able to rival just one-tenth of its greatness.

After reviewing all of these videos, I thought it might be cool to combine them into one movie.  It would involve a Turkish MacGuyver who is awesome at football; the only problem is that a lifetime of ridicule, due to his style of throwing the ball behind his back, has led him to suffer severe alcohol and drug problems.  When approached by a team in need of a miracle, will he be able to get out of his slump, and prove that it’s not about how you play, but why you play?  Oh Jesus, that sounds terrible.  This is why Dan Ray Sucks, and if you have nothing better to do than come up with horrible movie ideas based on youtube videos, then you suck, too.

Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, MacGyver.