Tag Archives: friday

Friday Video Review

It’s Friday, and we’re all antsy to be done with the week. Well, my week doesn’t end, because I work on Saturdays and Sundays, but for the rest of you slackers, I’ve found some great videos for you to watch; better yet, I’ve even reviewed them, so you don’t have to. Let’s take a look at what youtube has to offer us today…

Think you’re sick of Gangnam Style? Think again. I guess this song is still fresh enough, and totally relevant to synchronizing it with Halloween lights. Who even really uses lights (excluding those little pumpkins, which are more adorable than they are scary) to decorate their house for Halloween? Anyway, watch the video; it is actually pretty cool, for about 20 seconds.

I can only imagine how tired of this song the people are who regretted allowing Edward’s Landing Lights to set up this display on their property. Or, maybe they’re super fans, who could never get tired of what they think is the song of the century. OR, maybe they’re Korean.

Our next video is not a video, but rather a screen shot of one of the suggested videos from the last video. Jesus, I need a thesaurus. When clicking through Youtube, I wait to be inspired, and compelled to write; then, I always watch the whole video twice before, as well as a few times during, my review. From the picture below, I hope you can see the many reasons why I refuse to watch “crazy 3 min chest workout” by sixpackshortcuts.
Looking beyond the terrible title grammar, and the fact that I don’t need a crazy three minute chest work out (because I’m already super jacked), I can’t get by the obvious: How does a three minute workout take nine minutes and forty-eight seconds? It pissed me off so much, that I refused to click on the advertisement. Besides, if I wanted to watch a shirtless, muscular guy getting off to himself, I’d head just lift my mattress, and pop in my favorite DVD: Shirtless, Muscular Guys Getting Off to Themselves. It’s a masturpiece.

I also try to get the most-recent (as of start of blog), but it’s hard to pass up on this one from 2007:

She knows what the world needs, but I think what the world needs is more people her: sexy, and intelligent. You can see Mario Lopez holding back his laughter, because she comes off as a ditz. The problem is that this girl is misunderstood; I believe that her mental capacity far exceeds any of ours. Therefore, she should really be holding back her own laughter. Maybe I’m just trying to be nice, because she’s hot, and that’s what I was taught; I don’t know.

Finally, I’ll leave you with something that I’d like you to join me in boycotting: people whom are not funny. First on the snub list is this Ben Behfar guy. Before I get into bashing the douche bag, I’ll let you watch the video with a virgin mind.

The main thing that bugs me about “Bodyshots” is that it tries too damn hard to be funny, and it’s not. The song is not funny. Throwing on ridiculous, brightly colored 80’s clothing is not funny. Making a video based on such a poor concept that it pisses me off is not funny. I will say that is shot/put together pretty all right, but for what? It makes me angry that they put in the time and effort for something that I have to take the time and effort to slam; in other words, they’re wasting my time, because I can’t let them go on thinking that they’re awesome. Ben Behfar is more full of himself than me; not only does he think this video is amazing enough to put online, but there are also supplemental videos about the making of this shitball, as well as a website devoted to Nima: this guy who knows he sucks, and plays off that idea.

Oh shit, that sounds familiar. Whatever, I do it better. I know I suck, which is why Dan Ray Sucks. So, if you spend your Friday free time watching videos online to the point where you find one that pisses you off to no ends, because some ass hole thinks it’s funny to present himself in a grandiose, yet silly manner (which has been done before, and better) to make millions of dollars off of Youtube, and you know that’s impossible, but it still bothers you, then you suck too.

Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, don’t make shitty videos.



I have proven to myself how bad I suck plenty of times, and have yet another piece of evidence: Friday’s interview.  Before I delve into that fiasco, I would like to make say that I once had a great deal of directional awareness, common sense, and a personality to fit any type…these claims now hold absolutely no water.  I can still say that I do possess great determination.  If you wanted a job, would you not do anything to get it?  I agree: no.  Wouldn’t you do anything within your means and morals?  I would too, but sometimes you’re just overcome by an uncontrollable force I like to call, “Being a total f%&@ing idiot.”

Friday was supposed to be the day I leave my menial jobs, and start down a career path.  Nope.  It seems old Danny Boy doesn’t understand a GPS device, nor the address system.  If I were a mail carrier, people would be receiving their packages slower than before the Pony Express.  That’s not a joke: A. Because the comparison is not funny; and B. It’s true.  It’s as if my consciousness of the world went straight out the window on I-405…or, 110…or, I just left it in Ohio.  Hell, the more I think about it, maybe I was never granted the sixth sense: common sense.  (I wonder who to see about that?)

I’m not going to explain the ins and outs of my idiocy: I’ve gone in great depth on that before (danraysucks.wordpress.com), so doing it again would just be overkill.  I’m also more embarrassed about this instance than almost any other in my life; including the time I was caught having a sexually explicit conversation on ICQ (it was like AOL messenger, except no one has ever heard of it), or today when a table of pretty ladies pointed out, in a crowded restaurant, that my fly was down.  It’s also terribly hard having to put you through the pain, sweat, and anxiety of sharing my humiliation.  I don’t want to demand too much sympathy from you.

I’ll just sum up the day: I had an interview scheduled for three o’clock, and showed up at five o’clock, underdressed.  To give myself a little bit of redemption, I was told to dress casual; so, in my mind, I was simply following orders.  In hindsight, it would have been impressive to go above and beyond the call.  Lesson learned.  For a tiny bit more redemption, I worked later than expected; therefore, I left later than planned.  Still, I should have phoned ahead: lesson two learned.  For the last bit of redemption, my car wouldn’t start—all right, that one’s bull, but I should have mentioned it when I rolled into the office.  Why the interviewer still saw me two hours past the scheduled time is still a mystery to me.  Maybe he thought I’d really impress him.  He thought wrong.

I could not have been more off my rocker: late, frazzled, hopped up on coffee, and anxious to leave crappy jobs, in hopes of starting a real one; plus, I had not taken a relaxing pre-interview dump.  All of that was riding on me like all the girls had trouble juggling in college. (That one was a joke, because I rarely got laid; in fact, I was lucky if I could get an over the pants handy from a blacked out sorority girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend, and was looking for any reason to sleep with a guy.)  For a 23 year old trying to break into the showbiz, I could have had the opportunity of a lifetime!  I kid you not, I probably would have skipped over at least five years of belittling grunt work, and stepped into a professional position I could only have imagined.  It’s still not soaked in how bad I screwed up; just like the time I tried out for MTV’S The Real World, and impressed the hosts so much that they wanted me to stay and fill out the paperwork for highly potential candidates for show—okay, completely different, but in that scenario, I decided to (instead) head back to school (Ohio University) for the biggest party of the year…the point is that I had a great opportunity, and I blew it.

There’s really not much more to say on the subject, except that it gave me a blopic (blog, and topic combined into one term…it’ll catch on), and the chance to have others poke fun at me.  Although the interview did end up going all right, it’s impossible for an employer to get over the fact that I was two hours late!  Inexcusable.  My career is shot, and I need to pay bills.  Looks like I’ll have to take on whatever work I can find.  Maybe I’ll take on another bussing job.  Or, I can just hustle the kids of the neighborhood in some hardcore street ball.  I am pretty thug, and I do hate kids; so, I have no problem taking their money.  Anyway this is why Dan Ray Sucks, and if you ever showed up late to an interview that could have potentially started the rest of your life, then you suck, too.

Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, don’t be a punk, be punctual.