Video Reviews That Suck

I have a great appreciation for youtube sensations, and finally decided to do something about it.  Today, with nothing to do at my internship, I’ve decided to bring to you a few of my favorite videos of the day.  I hope you enjoy them as much as they’re trending.

First off, we have “MacGyver – The MacGyver Song by Eric Bert.”  Other than the outrageous amount of self-promotion, I love this video.  At first, I was quite skeptical about watching it, because it seems like some douche bag is just trying to make a name for himself; like me, except he’s doing a great job at it.  After watching the video, I have more respect for both Eric Bert, and MacGyver.  Bert does a tremendous job in pointing out how awesomely 80’s/early 90’s the show was.  With the panty-dropping mullet of Richard Dean Anderson coupled with the complex storylines, explosions, and (of course) his shoestring ingenuity, it’s no wonder why the show lasted 139 episodes; nor, is it a wonder why there are talks of a reboot/movie!  Anyway, you’ve read enough.  It’s time to listen to some musical genius:

I don’t have much to say about this next video, except that I could have done it with one arm tied behind my back:

Okay, maybe I’m a little impressed, but it’s recreational league; so, nobody really gives a shit.

This final little gem…WOW.  I strongly disagree with the title; unless they really mean “worst” to be in the fashion of “nasty”, or “sick”.  In which case, I would totally agree that it’s quite bad.  I don’t know what this guy did, or why he did it (the character, not the director), but I do know that I was on the edge of my seat!  From the mere one minute and eight seconds of pure cinematic beauty, I can tell that this was a box office smash; I’m sure the people of Turkey were lining up out the door to see it…again!  With the realistic special effects, attention to detailed fight choreography, and just the right amount of slow motion (not too little, not way too much), I was captivated at first glance.  I watched it four times, in pure envy of its quality.  I can only hope that I will someday be able to rival just one-tenth of its greatness.

After reviewing all of these videos, I thought it might be cool to combine them into one movie.  It would involve a Turkish MacGuyver who is awesome at football; the only problem is that a lifetime of ridicule, due to his style of throwing the ball behind his back, has led him to suffer severe alcohol and drug problems.  When approached by a team in need of a miracle, will he be able to get out of his slump, and prove that it’s not about how you play, but why you play?  Oh Jesus, that sounds terrible.  This is why Dan Ray Sucks, and if you have nothing better to do than come up with horrible movie ideas based on youtube videos, then you suck, too.

Tips to suck less:
-Leave a comment.
-fb/tweet/just tell your friends, friends’ friends, random bums–I don’t care, just do it.
-Finally, MacGyver.


3 thoughts on “Video Reviews That Suck

  1. hal

    Isn’t it funny how some people can literally pick up a video camera, shoot some scenes, do a little editing, and put out some fantastically good videos and start a career.

  2. danraysucks Post author

    In theory, that makes a lot of sense. In practice, the quick fame doesn’t live long. It’s like fast food: you’ll be satisfied in the short-term, but it’s hard to make that satisfaction last. I prefer starving like a real artist through my blog!


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